Life's a roller coaster

This'll be short and sweet (like me! haha) because I'm pretty exhausted. Quick update on June: she is back on the CPAP and doing great. She just wasn't ready for the cannula. They will try again Monday. They are also concerned she has another infection. They took bloodwork today and we're anxiously awaiting the results. Promise to update when we know something!

And now a prayer request -- my cousin, Britni, is in labor with her precious little girl right now. Hadlei Grace will be born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. This basically means only half of her heart developed. She will have an extremely difficult time, and will face open heart surgery within just a few days after birth. I am on pins and needles, as is the rest of our family, so we would just appreciate your thoughts and prayers for Hadlei and her mama, grandparents and aunt.

Five weeks ago...

Five weeks ago this coming Wednesday, we were told our baby had a greater chance of death than she did of life. Then she was diagnosed with a grade 3 brain bleed and fought pneumonia. Two weeks ago this coming Wednesday, she stopped breathing a few times. Things did not look good and Michael and I hit our knees, begging God to either save our daughter, or to prepare our hearts if it was His plan to call her home to Him.

Today, I gave our very alert, breathing easily, wiggly little miracle her very first bath in a tiny tub. She grasped my finger as she sucked her pacifier and we fell asleep together with her snuggled up in the blankets.



I didn't take my digital camera with me to the hospital today, but I did catch a few shots with her from the disposable camera that we keep in her room. I even got a picture of her with our favorite day nurse, Carrie!

She smiled at me today! I was thrilled. I cried, of course. She was so alert. Her eyes were wide open and she was wiggling around, looking at everything she could lay her eyes on.

I have to tell you, if you have a storm you are facing -- take it to Jesus. If you have something you're unsure of in your life -- take it to Jesus. He will make any uncertainty disappear. He will heal all of your hurts and wounds. If you have a burden you are carrying, remember that He's the same today as He was before that burden appeared. There is NOTHING too big for God. ALL things are possible!

One month old!

Here's a picture of June Claire's bulletin board. Do you see what I see?



She's THREE POUNDS!

JC broke through the three pound mark on her one month birthday! We're SO thrilled. And not only did she break three pounds...



...but the decision was made to put her back on the nasal CPAP today (that's the contraption over her face and nose). Her very first blood gas (a blood test they do to see how well the breathing accompaniment is working for the baby) was BETTER than the last one they did with the breathing tube! That's amazing! By the way -- that small orange tube you see going into her mouth is her feeding tube. She is back up on full feeds, or 26 mL every 3 hours. When she is on the ventilator, the tube goes into her nose.

She is fighting the pneumonia well, and they are pleased with the progress she's made. No other mention of spinal meningitis has been made, but I will ask them about it when I go over there in the morning. She is also becoming more and more alert, which is really nice. Unfortunately, every time I get to hold her she snuggles right up and sleeps -- only to wake up the minute they put her back in her isolette! Cheeky little girl! ;)

I love these next two pictures because her eyes are slightly open.




See that little embroidered angel sitting on June Claire's message board? That's the angel that was created and is selling for her. A wonderful, wonderful woman who owns an online embroidery company (www.addiepearldesigns.com), and my oldest sisters grandmother, designed this specifically for June Claire. If I'm not mistaken, a hummingbird has also been created now, but from someone else. We are so honored to have these people thinking of us like that. Anyway, my point was to tell ya'll that people have been buying these and praying over them, and we're starting to get them in the mail. We have that one up there and there are more that I need to put up. I think it's so wonderful to have prayers surrounding JC like that! Thank you ALL so much for all your thoughts and prayers, and all that you've done!

Losing weight

I am kicking off a big diet regimen this week. When I got married, I was at my heaviest EVER. That's what three months of living in England and then returning to the States for the last 8 weeks before your wedding and having all the food you craved at your disposal will do to you! Oh, that and having no self control...pretty much EVER. So I gained about 30 pounds in those 8 weeks. The wedding happened, moved back to England two weeks later...and promptly lost those 30 pounds plus another 40ish. That put me at my lowest weight I can ever remember, and boy did I feel GOOD! Theeen...I started having health problems and I gained 20 pounds. Theeen....I got pregnant with Sara. I did so well -- when we moved back to the States at 32 weeks, I had only gained about 20 pounds.

Then. *dum de dum dum DUM....*

I got pre-eclampsia. Evil, evil disease. Between 35 weeks and the day I delievered (39 weeks 6 days) I gained TWENTY-NINE pounds. Oh my. The day I delivered I weighed about one pound less than I did at our wedding.

And I never lost it. At one point I had lost 20 pounds, but then I gained it all back. There were two failed pregnancies between Sara's birth (September 2007) and when I got pregnant with June Claire (October 2009), so by the time I got pregnant with JC, I was just four pounds down from my highest weight.

(Understand all that poundage lingo? I'm too scared to put my real weight numbers out there!)

I gained two pounds with June, and when I went for my two week appointment, I was 17 pounds down from my highest weight! I was so excited and decided to keep it up. I have slipped plenty of times in the two weeks since that appointment, so I'm not really expecting a loss tomorrow at my 4 week follow-up. But today I'm starting Weight Watchers (how awesome is it that they have a program for nursing mothers?!) and along with that, I'll be posting weekly about my progress, what meals are working for me, recipe ideas, etc. Honestly, it's going to be a lot of work since we're still at the RMH -- we're on our own for breakfast, lunch is sometimes provided and supper is almost always provided. What that means is I can't accurately count the points for those meals that are provided, but I will give it a shot, for sure!

And exercise -- luckily for me, we get free passes to the YMCA, so we'll be taking advantage of that. I went to get a jogging stroller yesterday, but BRU was out so I'm hoping they'll have that in on Wednesday. When I get the new jogger, we'll be running as a family each day. I can't wait -- I think I'll love that! There are several lakes here and sidewalks are EVERYWHERE...so exercising shouldn't be a problem.

Anyone ever done WW? Have any tips? Please share!

Edited because...I'm computer illiterate, and for some reason my picture did not post. Sorry!

June Claire is stable today. I have an amazing story to share about that, actually. Last night Michael called the NICU about 9 pm to check on her. He was told that she had brought her sat (saturation) levels up and things were looking really good for the night. Well, a couple of hours later I got an e-mail from my friend, Sabrina -- I've known her since we started Kindergarten together 20 years ago. She was telling me that she stood in for June for prayer at their church, that her mama felt led for her to do it and that it was a really good prayer time and she just wanted to let me know about it. I mentioned to her that it was funny she said that because we had just gotten good news about June's breathing (something we've been struggling with) and she e-mailed back saying they had prayed around 7 or 8 pm. Right before Michael called, right when the levels started coming up! Praise the Lord! I'm telling you, I was raised with praying folks and I have seen miracles happen before (and I mean MIRACLES -- my aunt being healed of cancer one of them!) but it has never happened to me or my immediate family before, until now -- and it is the best blessing EVER! I get chill bumps every time I think about it.

She is still fighting, she's such a warrior. They attempted a fifth spinal tap last night and were unsuccessful, so they are going to try again today. If they don't get anything this time, I think we are going to refuse any more -- at least for a while. They have to go up on her oxygen every time, close to being at 100%, and that is just not good for a tiny baby who is already struggling with breathing. I think she needs a rest. But that is just my mama instinct, so we are going to pray about it and talk it over with the doctors before we make any final decisions.

I have a few post planned for this week that are non medical related -- I need the break from medical terms for a while. I will still keep you updated on JC, but there will be some other post coming, too.

Hope

I just wanted to quickly update and let you all know that June Claire has the flu. She's now fighting the flu, an eye infection, and a UTI all at the same time -- which is horrible for a two pound baby. She is stable right now, but has really got a hard fight ahead of her. Please keep her in your thoughts and remember her in prayer.

PS -- my mama's milk must be doing its job, because she gained two whole ounces since yesterday (putting her at 2 pounds 9 ounces). And this is AFTER her feeds have been cut in half for two days.

BTW -- they began increasing her feeds again today by 2mL every 9 hours. At 9 pm tonight she was at 14 mL every 3 hours. Her full feed was 20 mL before she got sick.

Three weeks old!

June Claire is THREE weeks old today! I can't hardly believe it. We are so thankful each and every day to wake up and have her in our lives. Here is June's three week update:

-- Today was not a good day. Sad way to celebrate your three week birthday. :( JC had an incredibly rough morning where she was not stable at all, having episode after episode of desats and just having a very hard time breathing. I think I told ya'll that they had taken her off the nasal cannula and put her back on the nasal CPAP. Well, this morning she was having such a struggle that they intubated her again with the breathing tube. Bless her poor little heart. I was so shocked to go in this afternoon and see the breathing tube -- for some reason, they didn't bother to let us know how rough of a time she was having, so it was a huge shock for me to just walk in and see it. I will definitely be speaking to the doctor about that -- I mean, if she is doing so poorly, we would like to know so that we can rush over; even if that means sitting in the waiting room. Today she had a new nurse (I don't know WHY they keep taking Carrie away from us -- she's supposed to be the primary nurse and she's our absolute favorite. *sad face*) But thank the Lord, since she's been back on the breathing tube she seems to be settling down. I was there eariler, before supper, and she was moving around and pressing her little foot on my finger as if to say, "Mama! Get me out of here!" ;)

-- Her CBC (complete blood count) was elevated today and they strongly suspect an infection. This would answer the question of why she's having such a hard time breathing suddenly. They took several cultures and have sent them off to the lab. We should know within 48 hours what the reports are. Depending on what type of infection it is (the ones mentioned to us were just the common cold and then the dreaded one -- pneumonia) they may do a spinal tap so as to further tell how long she will need antibiotics for. This would be her third spinal tap. In three weeks. I'm so glad she won't remember any of this! :(

-- She will likely be receiving a fourth blood transfusion before the weekend is over.

-- She weighs 2 pounds, 5 ounces as of today! Almost back at her birth weight -- you go JC! She was at 20 mL's per feed, but the doctor halved that and put her back on IV nutrition, so as to allow her body to rest and try to beat this infection that she has.

I THINK that's all I have so far for you. I can't believe my sweet girl is three weeks old already. I have a lot of mixed emotions going on about this -- but that'll be another post for a rainy day. :)

My mama, cousin and his wife are on their way down tonight. They'll be staying until Sunday. It is so nice to see a familiar face and have someone you know to talk to. It'll also give us a small break as grandparents are allowed to go sit with babies without the parents having to be there. Michael usually goes over once in the day and then around midnight for a while (he's a night owl) and I try my best to get over there about 8 in the morning (some mornings it doesn't work as Sara wakes up, and I try to let Michael sleep since he takes the night shift), but I definitely go for a few hours in the middle of the day after the doctors rounds end at 12. I would sit over there 24/7 if I could, but that's not fair to myself, Sara OR Michael. June, either, because she needs her time to rest without someone staring her down and reminding her she needs to fight every time the machines beep...I mean, gazing adoringly at her. ;)

By the way, before I go I wanted to say that pumping is going really, really well. I can NOT make myself pump 10-12 times a day. I always get at least 5, but usually 7. I'm getting 20-24 ounces per day consistently and I have a really nice stash going on in the hospital freezer. They say June has so much milk it takes up a whole SHELF, and most babies just have a bucket. What can I say....I'm a milk-making-machine! :)