Friday, April 29, 2016

Sunshine, vegetables, and nurses - oh my!

Well, lookee here! I made it back twice in one week!
It's been a crazy week. Mike completed his first week of chemo (GO MIKE!) and while he's quite nauseous, extremely tired, and just feeling a bit down in the dumps overall - he's trucking on through like a champ. I'm SO proud of him!

I'm just going to do a cell phone picture dump for your pleasure, okay?

I came across this meme today:

Isn't it so true? I've never had an old dog to fail me, old folks just want to sit in the rocking chair and be loved on, and old ways have proven to be great.

This was Monday's selection of books to read.
We're still working on The Bobbsey twins.

Miss June loves to help me do my PT exercises every day during their PE time.

Love being able to do schoolwork with the big windows and enjoy the sunshine!

Mike came home from chemo not feeling very well,
but he decided to grill steaks anyway.
I'm so thankful for him. Yes, we fuss. Yes, he annoys me to no end.
But he is my #1!

Nurse June had to check him out with her doctor kit as soon as he walked in.
Here, she's checking to make sure his port is okay.
Sara is just snuggling up to him, happy to have him home.

June and MawMaw (my mama) having a "chat" (as June likes to call it).

Our first tomato!

And our first bell pepper!

Love this scene on a Friday night.
Can't say I'd have it any other way. :)

Monday, April 25, 2016

Our Chemo Life

Well, friends. It's been a while, per usual.
I think this blog is now just somewhere I can pour out my real feelings from time to time.
I'm not even sure anything shared will ever be of real value again.
To recap - we got orders to Florida a few months back. we were going t be stationed in the same town my in-laws live in, and we were THRILLED, to say the least, After 8 years being assigned to the same duty station, we were ready for a change - even though we were near my family.
But God had different plans.

One Sunday afternoon, we went to lay down for our usual Sunday afternoon naps.
 Ya'll know how it is, especially if you have children.
You wake up in just enough time to throw everybody together in clothes that you pick out solely on a no-iron-needed basis. Shove down whatever is the easiest and least messiest thing to eat and rush out the door in the hopes of not breaking any of the Ten Commandments, especially those about being kind to your sisters - I mean neighbors,
Anyway, we laid down and Mike suddenly began having severe abdominal cramps.It got so painful that he ended up going to the ER where he was diagnosed with kidney stones. Eventually, in the next week he was diagnosed with the unthinkable.


Not something we were expecting to hear.
 Not from Michael.
We earned it was stage 2 testicular cancer that had spread to his abdomen,
Today he started chemo. He's in the chair next to me right now.
You know, it's funny. People ask how we handle this all - my multiple diagnoses, June's premature birth and three month hospital stay, and now this (basically 6 years of hell on earth) - because apparently, on the outside we look calm.
But inside? We're falling apart.
We're perpetually waiting, with bated breath, for the next shoe to fall.
Who am I kidding? 
We wait for the next bomb to drop and infiltrate our lives, changing our family forever....again.
But the one thing cancer can't change?
Our souls.
It cannot change our souls.
Because our souls don't belong to cancer - they belong to Jesus.
Bombs, war, premature babies, babies too perfect for earth, wheelchairs - they can't change our souls.
Sometimes, I like to think our souls change them.
You see, I believe Satan sends all these things to attack us. But, if you stay strong and focus on the word of God, it just strengthens your soul. And then he gets mad. Oh, he gets REAL mad.
Our pastor likes to say that if you are ever in a place and you realize you don't feel like you're being attacked by even small things - then you might be in a spot you don't wan to be.
Yesterday mornings sermon was how God likes to create something out of nothing.
Cancer equals the lowest point I personally have ever been out, so for me:
Canceer = Nothing
But when God steps in...
Nothing = Something
Follow me?
We're okay with being brought down to zero so He can create more than we ever imagined.

**Now I'm home, several hours after having written this. I'm sitting at the desk in our bedroom, editing this post to publish. Mike is laying on the bed with Sara and June, reading The Bobsey Twins to them. See? I have no reason to complain about this life. To me, it's pretty perfectly imperfect.