Thursday, April 14, 2011

Thursday musings

Yesterday June Claire had a PT evaluation.
Overall, she's a happy, healthy baby.
But I still heard some news I didn't want to hear...
It's always hard to have someone tell you your child is less than normal.
Yes, she's alive. Yes, she's healthy. Yes, she's come SO far
and has exceeded our expectations time and time again.
But yet, she still lacks.
I remember watching an episode of Desperate Housewives once.
Lynette was dreaming about her twins she was pregnant with,
and she dreamed of one that was born with cerebral palsy.
 In the dream, she was getting so frustrated (and so was he) with therapy.
They touched on how hard it was to continuously WORK WORK WORK
 with your child and have them be frustrated and cry
because of the pain or the pure feeling of failure.
That's how I feel right now.
I feel like no matter HOW hard we work with June
every single day, multiple times a day
I have got to accept the fact that
I just can't MAKE her do it.
I'm not in control here.

Somtimes it's so easy to forget Who is in control.
He has complete, total control.
Yes, we have opportunities to make certain decisions
each day of our life, which absolutely factor in.
But all of this?
 It was planned out as He formed us in His vision.
Every disability that June may or may not have...
it'll be ok.

As we get ready to celebrate June's first birthday
I seem to get more emotional.
This has been a rough week
and I'm glad I have an outlet to get my emotions out.

I hope ya'll have a wonderful Thursday & get started on a great weekend tomorrow!


Lora said...

i heard an amazing speaker once who made the statement: "a problem is simply God's stage for a miracle"

you are NOT in control...and i'm certain that it's overwhelming. but you are loving your daughter(s) and you are doing everything you can with the life you've been entrusted. it's good, baby. it's good. :D

HappyascanB said...

Oh, hang in there. You do so very much every single day for precious June Claire. God's got her (and you) in the palm of His hand. Never doubt that!

Judy said...

Stephanie, thank you for dropping by my blog and commenting. I recently told another blog friend I'm trying to get better about commenting on blogs myself, it's a bad habit I need to break!

I can't believe it's been a year since June was born. Our little Jackson (Taylor's twin) has speech problems and learning disabilities which are all the more noticeable because Taylor is very advanced. My daughter has a hard time with all of this and sometimes it's hard to remember that nothing happens that our Lord is not in control of.

God Bless sweet friend!