Tuesday, October 6, 2009

If you want to get to the rainbow, you've got to endure the rain.

That's a pretty true statement, isn't it? For the past few weeks I have been in the worst place in my life. Spiritually, physically, emotionally, you name it. I always feel like I'm trying to get out of it but I wonder if I am truly putting forth enough effort. I have been so down and out about our situation with trying for another baby that I just have sank deeper and deeper into this self-pityness that I have created. I think what's hardest for me is that I always pictured myself having a big family -- like 6 or 7 kids -- and now that might not be a reality and I'm having a hard time changing my "wants" to fit with what could be God's plan. I have really been praying about it this weekend and there are a few phrases/Scripture verses that I have come across (with the one above being one of the best) that have really been working on me.

Then last night I was reading the Kelly's Korner blog (for those of you who don't follow her blog -- she and her husband endured infertility, miscarriage, etc. before finally being blessed with their beautiful baby girl) and she has a separate blog for prayer requests. I read through those prayer request and I didn't even make it past the VERY FIRST ONE before I broke down. The first prayer request was for a family who had been praying for a baby for 18 YEARS. And here I am, with one healthy child and with only a year of trying and four miscarriages to account for. I am reminded of my mama telling me growing up, "Never feel sorry for yourself, because there is ALWAYS someone out there who has it worse than you."

I feel much better today than I have in the past six months, so hopefully (prayerfully) I am coming out of it. I am spending a lot of time in prayer and reading the Scripture for encouragement. Because I know God promised a rainbow at the end of the rainstorm.

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

1 comment:

Together We Save said...

I pray you see God's grace in your life. It is so hard when God does not answer our prayer the way we want in the time frame we want. I hope you find comfort and enjoy the little gift he has given you.