Wednesday, August 14, 2013

To Those Who Married Young

 I logged into Blogger this morning and my friend Danielle shared this blog post and wrote her own along with it. As I was reading it, I was already forming in my head things that I wanted to say about our marriage. To give credit where it's due, here is the the original blogger who shared their story.

And here is ours.

I never wanted to move away from small-town Alabama. I lived here my whole life. I was born here, I went to school here, I graduated here, and I went to work full-time here. I had a life. A really, really, good one. I had a good job and I was GOING PLACES. Then my sister needed me. They were Air Force, stationed in England and she had a 2 year old and a baby with one functioning kidney who was very, very sick. And my brother-in-law was supposed to deploy. I don't know what caused it. Maybe it was knowing she needed help paired with....I don't know what. But I turned my notice in at work, bought a one-way flight, packed my bags and on June 6, 2005 I boarded a plane for London, England. I was barely 20. To make a long story short, I met Michael and married him on December 23, 2005.

Yes, six months later. He called one chilly day in November and said he wanted to marry me. "I've got leave for Christmas," he said. "Pick a day, any day. I want to marry you."

I was shocked, but so incredibly happy. I ran into the ktchen and said to my mama, "What day? Pick a day in December" She didn't quite understand. "Pick a day for me to get married!"

I would've passed out. I would've duct taped my daughters mouth shut and tied her to a chair. (Do you hear that, Sara and June? Keep that in mind!) But my mama kept her composure. She pulled a calendar out and together we figured out the 23rd would be the best day. I have no clue why. In hindsight, it was the WORST possible day! But that's what we chose.

My family and I planned a wedding in six weeks. We were married!

When you marry young, money is tight....or nonexistent. Due to that - and limited time - we did not have a honeymoon. On our wedding night we went to Montgomery and stayed in a hotel. We left the next day for Tennessee, were his parents lived. We stayed with them, had Christmas with them (I literally married my husband, met his parents the day before the wedding, and then had Christmas with them two days later - awkward!), and five days later I did the hardest thing I've ever done. I put my husband on a plane back to England, while I stayed in Alabama and waited two weeks for my flight out. That is when it slapped me in the face - I was a military wife. This is what I was going to do for the next 15 years.

Our life has never been elaborate. We have absolutely had our share of tough times. That first year in England was glorious. I'm so glad we experienced that together. We have had our arguments. We have even separated and very nearly divorced. It has been a long, winding road that we have traveled together. We've grown up together. I personally had to grow up a lot. I thought I was such an adult at 20....but I look back now and think, "Are you kidding me?!" But we have made many memories together. And because of the tough times, we have grown so much stronger. We have survived two miscarriages, a baby born at 27 weeks that spent 3 months in a hospital 10 hours from home, two diagnoses of leukemia and a bone marrow transplant. And that's not the small things, like time spent away with the military, financial hardship and things that most marriages endure. My husband sat beside me for weeks on end while I was fighting death in the ICU. He fed me when I couldn't move. He was my eyes when I could not see, my legs when I could not walk. My strength when I could not find it to lift my head off the pillow.

He's been my best friend that I am so thankful I had the opportunity to grow up with.

To all of you who are young and are married - DON'T GIVE UP. True love does still exist. When you are upset because he won't throw his 25 year old pizza oven that expired 5 years ago in the trash, and it's old and rusty and makes the kitchen stink when he cooks cheddarwurst and pizzas in it - it's okay. He will eventually get rid of it. When he wants to hang on to that one white button-up shirt from 1995 because it reminds him of his home, the beach - it's okay. Six years later, he'll clean out his closet and get rid of it on his own. Basically, don't get upset about the little things.  Enjoy those things. They are precious. They will be the stories you tell to your children and to your grandchildren.

And when he pretty much forgets your anniversary the year your first child is born, and you come downstairs with a baby-sitter lined up & you're all decked out, and he wonders why? Don't kill him. He'll likely stick beside you through the hardest time in your entire life....over and over again.

For those who are married and facing things that could end your marriage - don't give up then, either. We've been there. We've both done undesirable things. I'm open and honest about that. Not to spread my business around, but to say - look at us. We made it, and you can too. It takes dedication, hard work, MUCH prayer, counseling, and even heartache, but with God anything is possible.


Fairhope Supply Co. said...

Sweet story. Wisdom comes with age.

Anonymous said...

This is a beautiful story. I am so glad y'all have been able to come together and keep your marriage.