Back in the land of the living

Thank you for your comments & e-mails during my blogging break. First of all, I would just like to say thank you for the prayers that went up for my dad. He is recovering well and to hear him tell it, he's ready to jump in his truck and take off to build a house.

Yeah. Okay, dad. We'll get right on that!

Now, for the bad news. :( I have to say it sometime, so I might as well just tell ya'll now. Michael and I have been separated for two weeks today. We begin marriage counseling this coming Friday. There are a LOT of reasons why we are separated, so I hope that this counseling will help us grow and tend to the problems before they become even bigger. If anyone has any advice, I would appreciate it. And please keep us in your prayers.

Blogging Break

I have some major things going on in my life right now -- taking care of my dad post open heart surgery leaves little time for the Internet, and I also have some personal stuff going on as well....so I'm taking a little blogging break. I have lots of stuff I want to say, and I still read others blogs, but I can't commit to making any worthy posts right now. Please keep us in your thoughts & prayers, and I'll be back before you know it!

I can't believe I'm typing this

I didn't think this would affect me the way it has.

We found out on Thursday that the lower half of my father's heart is 100% blocked. They will be going in next week for a quadruple bypass. He is a severe diabetic and has a myriad of other health problems, so this is a serious, serious surgery.

My dad and I have not always gotten along. Both of us have made poor choices in our relationship and we've never worked through them; instead, we just swept them under the rug until they were just too big to approach. But when I heard this news, it hit me like a sack of rocks.

I went to see my dad yesterday. It was the first time in over a year that I had seen him. He played with Sara and held June. It was good. We didn't talk about anything, but I didn't want to. I didn't think he needed any undue stress.

I am asking for your prayers this coming up week. My dad is single, but he has four girls and we are all giving 100% to be with him. He cannot be alone at any point. He can't work, and he was a sub-contractor....you know what that means. Poor insurance (but thank God he has it!), no FMLA, no vacation time, no sick time. No paycheck for 2+ months.

Maybe this is happening to wake us up and make us fix our relationship.

Sometimes you have to be broken before you can be fixed.

Weight Loss Wednesday -- Week 1

203.6.

Week 1 was a FAIL. I GAINED .1 ounce! Honestly, I can't say I'm surprised. Even though I ate healthy, my week still included brownies, wine, Coke, burgers, and cookies. :/ Oh -- and did I mention it did NOT include exercise?

I found my 30 Day Shred DVD and I popped that bad boy 30 minutes ago and gave it my ALL. I plan on doing the DVD every day for 30 days and my yoga/pilates DVD 3 times per week. That's my goal -- now I just need to force myself to stick with it!

I'm going to take comparison pics next week. I'll probably post them. I'm kinda scared to.

I'm still alive -- and still counting calories!

Okay, that last part isn't true. But I'm calorie counting started T O D A Y! I'm nursing, which gives me a ridiculous amount of something like 41 points per day at WW -- and I can't eat that much! That's crazy to me. I eat ENOUGH, though. Trust me. You can look at me & tell I clearly eat enough.

Life's been busy lately. I've discovered Lost on Netflix -- not sure why I never got into that before! It's a captivating show. I've been getting a lot of cleaning done. Spending a lot of quality time with the girls. What I have NOT been doing is exercising.

*sigh*

That ends today. I'm about to start implementing a strict schedule of supper at 6:00, then I leave for a walk at 6:45. I will throw J in the sling and just GO. I am making myself start at 45 minutes for the first week, and then go up to an hour. I have already decided that when income tax time rolls around (I love that time of year!) I am getting a gym quality treadmill or elliptical (opinions, anyone?) and the exercise bike that my mom NEVER uses and those bad boys are going in my garage. We don't park our cars in the garage, so M can have half the garage for his "man cave" and I will take the other half for my sewing/scrapbooking & for the exercise equipment. Throw a TV up and I'm good to go! Can we say....ALONE TIME??

I know there are no pictures on here, but I do have some super cute ones I am going to upload tonight & post tomorrow. Don't kill me yet. :)

Day 2 of "Operation Find Skinny Girl"

It went pretty well today. I got in more water than I did yesterday. Still no exercise...blah. I love exercising, but it seems like I can't find time for it. I know, I know....people say, "MAKE TIME!"

Those people definitely don't have high need babies.

I actually am in the process of cancelling my gym membership. I LOVE the gym. I hate getting up and going, but once I'm there, I'm a big fan. But a) we need the extra $50/month now that we have a car payment (negative equity SUCKS) and b) It takes 20 minutes to drive each way there....and June refuses to be sit down for any amount of time, thus making it hard to watch both girls at the same time -- ESPECIALLY at bed time, when J refuses to fall asleep without my boobs. And really? I have no desire to be working out at midnight, folks. And putting J in the daycare there is NOT an option. So I said all that to say this -- I think I will pull out the 30 Day Shred DVD tonight. I'm contemplating posting pictures as the weeks roll on -- clothed, of course. I don't want to scare ya'll off!

In other news, Sara had her third week of Mother's Day Out this week. She always says, "I don't wanna go to school!" but she has a blast once she's there. I LOVE that it's a church program. She came home singing "Jesus Loves the Little Children" today. That kind of stuff just tickles me pink! June had therapy today and she's doing well. The therapist (Victoria....love her!) says that June doesn't seem to have any tightness in her arms or legs...which is awesome news! We are still awaiting the results from her ultrasound she had on Monday. I called the doctors office today but never got a call back. I'm crossing my fingers and praying that means there is no bad news.

I have one girl beside me who is falling asleep and one girl laying on my chest who is falling asleep....and a kitchen full of dirty dishes I need to take care of....and a couch full of laundry to put away...and a laundry room overflowing with dirty laundry....and floors that need to be picked up...and a workout to kick butt on. Where's that maid when I need her!

I Can't Believe I'm Putting This Out There

I am soooo tired of being fat! I've started (and stopped, shortly thereafter) Weight Watchers/working out/eating healthier MANY times recently. I am DONE. I'm putting it ALL out there....weight NUMBERS (GASP!) and all....so that I will be so embarrassed by them that I WILL make a change. Sort of an accountability, if you will.

Okay. Don't faint & fall out. I'm too fat to pick you up off the floor!

My heaviest ever was 219, when I delivered Sara in September 2007.

My lowest ever was 152, in the summer of 2006.

I was 212 when I got pregnant with June, and 215 when I delivered.

My current weight is 203.5.

My goal is 140.

That means I am 11.5 pounds down and have 63.5 pounds to go.

Oh, I'm currently a loose 18, tight 16.

I'd appreciate any healthy or WW friendly recipes you love! I will be doing this without access to the gym -- except for the occasional Friday night/weekend trip to the gym on post, where it's free. I am armed with a yoga DVD, a pilates DVD, and the 30 Day Shred DVD. And a road where I can walk.

I am ONLY cooking WW recipes or healthy versions of old favorites. I want this to be a total makeover of how we eat. I don't want my girls growing up thinking a Coke and a PopTart for breakfast is okay!

Wish me luck!